What's black and blue and hides in the corner?
What is something 9/10 people enjoy?
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman
beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They
are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as
your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."
A masked man walked into a sperm bank, pulled out a gun, and told the secretary that this was a stick up and to open the safe.
The secretary replied, "You idiot, this is a sperm bank, there's no money here!!"
The masked man insisted that if she did not open the safe he would shoot her on the spot. Reluctantly, she opened the safe and stood back. There in the open safe were two vials of sperm.
The robber pointed his gun at the two vials and ordered the secretary to drink them both or he would blow her head off.
When she had finished drinking the second vial the robber took off his mask. There stood her husband with a grin on his face!!
"See Doris", he said. "that didn't kill you, did it?!"
Stepping out of the shower, the man observes to the wife, "Don't you think my penis is a little bigger?"
He persists, so she looks more closely. She professes not knowing for sure.
The next morning the man insists his penis is getting larger. The wife measures it with a tape measure to set a baseline.
Each morning for a week the wife measures the man's penis, and each morning it is 1/4 inch longer. By the time they can see a doctor, another week has passed. The doctor schedules "surgical intervention" and asks if either of them has any questions. The wife asks, "How long will he need crutches?"
"Why," the doctor responds, "Do you expect he'll need crutches?"
"Well, you are making his legs longer, aren't you?"
_________________My Name Is Lieutenant Aldo Raine
I AM A ZOMBIE AND I WILL MALISH YOU WITH A SHOEHORN!
- Quote :
- Some women have been known to willingly "ingest" a certain dubious "body fluid" made by men,during moments of "intimacy."
(These moments are known as "blow jobs." These women are known as "awesome.")